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Poking the balloon

Some blue-faced girl

who looks like me

dresses like me

talks like me

talks at me

all kinds of bullshit

her neck’s long like a horse

her teeth are the smallest teeth I’ve ever seen

talks at me

with her big forehead

about how this summer is the hottest wettest dullest summer

filled with bugs

I’m nauseous

This girl drags on about the weather

I say, “I have cows to milk”

(even though I don’t)


I have to throw up

I have to throw up

I have to throw up


My chalky stomach swells up

tears through my red dress

A big tattered balloon

I push on it

push on it, push on it

But it won’t go down

It’s big like maybe I swallowed a person

I don’t know

I’m clean and I’ve never fucked.


but now the whole town thinks I did

they think I fucked greasy on the barn floor

my fingers deep in porridge

with pigs, lying in pig mud

they’re pointing fingers

at my big fat stomach

they think that they know me

I guess they call me slut whore Mary

The blue faced girl stops telling me the weather

it’s funny cause I’m really a big prude actually

I’ve never masturbated in my life

it’s not funny

cause no one tells me anything anymore


I lug my stomach into the forest

to rest on the dirt

my head grows long and thin and curved and sharp

my fish hook head is made of metal

my feet turn into spinning wheels

my small hands cradle my big balloon is crushed

my hands fall off and die

I’m all hook and wheels and rags

my empty balloon, my baby, hangs from my skirt

like a dirty old bag


I wheel around

mostly to go drink from the river

with the horses

and it’s funny cause now all the unwed unfucked virgins have big balloon

stomachs

ripping through their dresses, too

they sulk around in their dark cloaks with their hoods pulled up over their long hair

and look down massaging their balloons, hoping to see their feet

and they are sad and they are sorry and they beg forgiveness with their puffed sticky eyes

but I don’t care much anymore

my fish hook hangs down

into the river

to drink with the horses

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