Poking the balloon
Some blue-faced girl
who looks like me
dresses like me
talks like me
talks at me
all kinds of bullshit
her neck’s long like a horse
her teeth are the smallest teeth I’ve ever seen
talks at me
with her big forehead
about how this summer is the hottest wettest dullest summer
filled with bugs
I’m nauseous
This girl drags on about the weather
I say, “I have cows to milk”
(even though I don’t)
I have to throw up
I have to throw up
I have to throw up
My chalky stomach swells up
tears through my red dress
A big tattered balloon
I push on it
push on it, push on it
But it won’t go down
It’s big like maybe I swallowed a person
I don’t know
I’m clean and I’ve never fucked.
but now the whole town thinks I did
they think I fucked greasy on the barn floor
my fingers deep in porridge
with pigs, lying in pig mud
they’re pointing fingers
at my big fat stomach
they think that they know me
I guess they call me slut whore Mary
The blue faced girl stops telling me the weather
it’s funny cause I’m really a big prude actually
I’ve never masturbated in my life
it’s not funny
cause no one tells me anything anymore
I lug my stomach into the forest
to rest on the dirt
my head grows long and thin and curved and sharp
my fish hook head is made of metal
my feet turn into spinning wheels
my small hands cradle my big balloon is crushed
my hands fall off and die
I’m all hook and wheels and rags
my empty balloon, my baby, hangs from my skirt
like a dirty old bag
I wheel around
mostly to go drink from the river
with the horses
and it’s funny cause now all the unwed unfucked virgins have big balloon
stomachs
ripping through their dresses, too
they sulk around in their dark cloaks with their hoods pulled up over their long hair
and look down massaging their balloons, hoping to see their feet
and they are sad and they are sorry and they beg forgiveness with their puffed sticky eyes
but I don’t care much anymore
my fish hook hangs down
into the river
to drink with the horses
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